como se dice???

So, almost ten days in Spain and my thoughts are finally clear enough to form sentences. i will post pictures soon. i have a feeling i'm going to be really bad a that. after all, this really isn't a kind of tourist thing for me...therefore, the camera isn't with me--just my eyes. Feelings are jumbled and varied. The truth is, I had no idea I would feel this way.

I'm excited. I'm homesick. I'm worried and as of this Thursday, I will be completely by myself. Rob will leave back to Flagstaff leaving me by my lonesome in the seaside city. One thing that really caught me off guard was the language. I knew about Catalan but I had no idea that Castillian Spanish would be practically obsolete around the city?! To explain Catalan, put Spanish, Italian and French in a blender, hit puree, then paint it on every sign in Barcelona and that's what I'm dealing with. It is a little upsetting. After all, I came here to perfect Spanish and now I find myself dealing with this whole new course on the menu that I wasn't prepared for. :(

My flat is really cute. Very little as Europe usually is. Its just enough space for me and a few of my little things and that's it. Maybe 6ft by 15 ft...maybe. Its been incredibly humid and balmy. I stopped putting on make-up because it melts off within moments. Throughout Rob's time here with me, he has helped me get familiar with the metro, explore the ins and outs, set up my room and get to know my flatmates.

They are really precious and incredibly perplexing characters. Beate (BEE-AH-TAH) is a 26 year old female Austrian who loves smoking and working with young children. Go figure. Did I mention she likes smoking? Next to a chimney I've never met anyone who puffs so much! Regardless of her tobacco habit she has great taste in music, loves to relax, have fun, travel and read Intouch magazine. Petru (PET-TRUE) is 26, Romanian and quite the puzzle. He seems incredibly hippy one moment and then total frat boy the next. He is sweet and speaks wonderful English as well as Romanian, Spanish and Catalan. I feel so dumb and small next to them. Here I am killing myself to learn two when they just have a whole armoir full of foreign tongues to start blabbing! We all speak English in the house. I think it is mostly for Beate whose Spanish is presently not up to par. Neither is mine. Its nice in these early days.

Despite being the youngest person in the house, I feel like the oldest. They are such party animals. Then again, perhaps it is the city that makes them so. In these past few days I am astonished as to how quickly I completely morphed into a vampire! Everything starts happening around 10pm and doesn't stop until sunrise. The other day I slept until 4pm! I nearly cried! Then again, not having slept until 6am will do that to you. I'm not sure how much I like the nightowl status needed to have fun here. :/

It is still very new. I miss Phoenix. In my heart, I never really wanted to leave. I love Arizona. I love my family and friends and now that I'm so far away...I crave to be close again. Its amazing how homesickness can just worm its way in and infect everything. I love this city--Spain is incredible, I just wish I felt better. I have a feeling this time I'm going to need a huge adjustment period before I start feeling normal and not like an frightened rabbit.

This is what growth is about right? I keep trying to remind myself why I am here in the first place and the truth is, I really don't know. My internship begins September 1st and...we'll see how that goes. I hope I break out of this scared little shell soon. I'm sure to write after Rob leaves and hopefully post some pictures. :)